Season Preview: Oklahoma City Thunder

September 30, 2009

The history of the Oklahoma City Thunder as the Thunder is brief. They’ve played one season going 23-59 and have high hopes for 2009-2010. The Seattle Sonics however have a much more storied past playing in three NBA Finals in 1978, 1979, and 1996, winning in 1979 with Dennis Johnson as the Finals MVP. They also gave the world the honor and glory of being able to witness Shawn Kemp play on the national stage while also giving him the opportunity to impregnate numerous women throughout the continental United States also helping to solidfy the stereotype of NBA players as infideious ladies’ men. This and other details will be discussed more in my spring semester course, Cultural Perceptions and the NBA: 1980-Present. Sign up soon, spots are running out.

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Season Preview: Los Angeles Clippers

September 29, 2009
Good question.

Good question.


The Los Angeles Clippers (and its predecessors) have sucked for a long time. The End.

With 55 characters to spare, that tweet could accurately sum up the entire franchise history of the Los Angeles Clippers better than I’ll be able to in the few paragraphs that follow.

The Buffalo Braves sucked. The San Diego Clippers sucked. Now the Los Angeles Clippers suck. The End.

That’s 39 characters to spare.

With only seven winning seasons as a NBA franchise in the thirty-nine seasons of existence, the Los Angeles Clippers define “suck.” The End.


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Ignore the Speed Limit

September 29, 2009

Now, comparisons are made all of the time, to the point that they lose their significance. That being said, I would like to make one concerning basketball and football. Not the games themselves, they are fundamentally different in almost all conceivable ways except both involve a ball and points. I am referring to two players specifically who seem to have much in common, at least in the parameters of their individual sport. Those two players are Steve Nash and Drew Brees.

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Season Preview: Washington Wizards

September 28, 2009

Since yesterday’s Sacramento Kings preview was so well received by our dozens of fans, we have decided to continue the series today with the team with the 2nd worst record in the NBA, the Washington Wizards.


History: Read the rest of this entry »

Globetrotting with the Globetrotters: Episode 1

September 28, 2009
For a real challenge, try to figure out which team are the two Harlem Globetrotters, using this image alone.

For a real challenge, try to figure out which team are the two Harlem Globetrotters.

The Amazing Race” is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. During the season premiere tonight, I noticed the show blatantly explained that one of the teams of two are Harlem Globetrotters. I’ve decided to start a series on “Paints in the Point” dedicated to covering their performance during the race, entitled “Globetrotting with the Globetrotters.”

“Globetrotting with the Globetrotters” is a tale of two black men traveling the world, using their unique combination of acting and basketball skills in attempt to win the race and the million dollar prize. Will they flatten the competition like they flatten the Washington Generals game after game? Will they survive until the next episode? Read and find out!

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Season Preview: Sacramento Kings

September 27, 2009

30 Previews in 30 Days!, no this is not an ABC Family holiday gimmick: this is the official Paints in the Point 2009-2010 Season Preview.

We start of course with the Champ, for I will be kicking off this series and will bring it to a close in thirty days.

The format that the “Paints Dudes” have decided on is that of regular season records, worst to best, which means the first team to be previewed, is the once-mighty Sacramento Kings.


A Little History:

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In Soviet Russia, Nets New Jersey You!

September 24, 2009

Mikhail Prokhorov will more than likely become the newest owner of an NBA team, offering $200 million for 80% of the New Jersey Nets team, 45% of the new Barclays Center, and the right to buy up to 20% of the company which is developing the area surrounding the stadium for retail and residential uses. The NBA will review the deal, and if 75% of the board of governors approve, then the deal will go through. If approved, Mikhail will become the first foreigner to hold a majority stake in an NBA team.

Some fun facts about Mr. Prokhorov:

  • He is Russia’s richest man, with an estimated wealth of approximately $9.5 billion. He gained most of his wealth by acquiring numerous contracts from the Russian government after they became a capitalist nation. Moral of the story: if you want to become rich, make deals immediately after a control economy becomes a capitalist one.
  • He was held in Paris, France for questioning in connection with a prostitution investigation. According to a article about the deal, he was “never charged.” I believe this is journalistic code for “he definitely was involved with some prostitutes in Paris and paid off the police.” In America, spending four days in Paris is nothing extravagant. There might even be other men in Paris during those four days. According to a statistic I just made up, 74% of all American men have been in Paris, but none of them regret spending so much time in Paris until their crotch starts burning a few days later.
  • Mikhail is noted for his “gorgeous entourage,” which goes to show that post-Soviet Russia has good artistic taste.
    Not even half as annoying as Jeremy Piven.

    Not even half as annoying as Jeremy Piven.

    The more gorgeous, Russian version of the show does not feature Jeremy Piven, who was digitally replaced by the significantly more likable Jar-Jar Binks.

What possible changes or news items might we see now that Prokhorov has all but assured control in the Nets? I’ve come up with the following list:

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