Three-on-Three Paints in the Point Live Blog

Unbeknownst to many, all six “Paints Dudes” have not been in the same room since we started this blog. However, all were present at a party hosted by The Franchise at his home. A seventh, never-before-seen “Paints in the Point” blogger was also present and provided the following commentary for his first post on “Paints in the Point.”

Please enjoy the following recap of two half-court three-on-three basketball games, as told by the newest “Paints Dude,” known only as The Enforcer (with some minor editing by The Freelancer).

A photo of the Paints Dudes playing basketball.

A photo of the Paints Dudes playing basketball.

Game One

  • The Dudes argue at length over teams. Game to 21, win by two.
  • The teams are as follows: The Ivy Leaguer, The Freelancer, and The Champ versus The Octagon, The Franchise, and The Custodian.
  • The Champ suggests a team name: “The Missouri Compromise.” The Octagon-The Franchise-The Custodian team does not come up with a name, but will herein be referred to as “FOC.”
  • The Octagon notes that the abbreviation for a “Man’s Rebound” is “MR.” He wonders if it is coincidence that “MR” is also the abbreviation for “Mister.”
  • The Freelancer flies on The Ivy Leaguer. The Octagon scores two with assist from The Franchise. 2-0 FOC.
  • The Freelancer gets first man’s rebound, but The Franchise blocks the subsequent shot.
  • The Custodian and The Franchise: telepathic connection?
  • The Custodian as Chris Paul, The Champ as Sasha Pavlovic Damon Jones when he sucked.
  • The Franchise sinks three. Gorgeous rotation on shot. 5-0 FOC.
  • The Octagon assists The Franchise. 7-0 FOC.
  • The Ivy Leaguer makes himself useful with a steal.
  • FOC would be even better with more accurate shooting, but they can’t complain. 9-0 FOC.
  • Much like real life, the Missouri Compromise is failing badly.
  • The Ivy Leaguer learns that you don’t back The Custodian down.
  • The Octagon hits from two-point range. 11-0 FOC.
  • The Franchise slams it down. BOOM SHAKALAKA! 13-0 FOC.
  • The Champ contends that he never liked the teams from the start, and considering the score, he may be right. The current game is ended and a new game is ordered.

Game Two

  • The teams have been reshuffled: The Franchise, The Champ, and The Custodian (hereafter known as “The FCC”) on one side, The Freelancer, The Ivy Leaguer, and The Octagon (hereafter known as “FOIL”) on the other.

    FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski served as Honorary Team Captain.

    FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski served as Honorary Team Captain.

  • The Octagon regrets wearing flip-flops. The Freelancer gets a steal.
  • The Champ assists, The Franchise scores. The FCC leads, 2-0.
  • The Freelancer combines ballet and basketball for a picture-perfect rebound.
  • The Custodian assists, The Champ scores. The FCC up, 4-0.
  • The Franchise is a judo master of basketball. The FCC now leading 7-0.
  • The Freelancer and The Octagon fail a give-n-go, stolen by The Custodian. The Freelancer steals back, but the shot is off.
  • Skyhook from The Octagon. 7-2.
  • The Octagon should never trash talk again: “Dog and fur?”

    What the other team was, according to The Octagon.

    What the other team was, according to The Octagon.

  • The Custodian is the best ball handler this court has ever seen.
  • The Champ is the worst shooter this court has ever seen.
  • Conclusion: The Champ is not worth of playing with The Custodian.
  • The Champ sinks a shot, his first of about ten since The Champ’s first basket. The FCC increases their lead, 9-2.
  • The Franchise botches a dunk. The Octagon pretends to block.
  • The Dudes have got to learn about high-percentage shots. Somewhat embarrassing to watch.
  • Six shots missed in a row.
  • The Franchise finally puts something in. The FCC way up, 11-2.
  • The on-court rapping must stop. NOW.
  • The Freelancer sinks a two-ball. 11-4.
  • The Freelancer gets it done. BOOM SHAKALAKA! 11-6.

    A recreation of The Freelancers dunk.

    A photo of The Freelancer's dunk.

  • The Champ: “Has anyone watched Dawson’s Creek lately?”

    The stars of The Champs favorite show.

    The stars of The Champ's favorite show.

  • The Champ with the least enthusiastic dunk in history. The FCC is now up 13-6.
  • The Custodian: Point Guard extraordinaire.
  • The Octagon makes a hook shot. 13-8.
  • The Ivy Leaguer slams it. 13-10.
  • The Franchise puts a stop to FOIL’s 8-2 run by sinking a two. 15-10.
  • The Octagon responds with a two of his own. The FCC leads, 15-12.
  • The Octagon hits the board, not the hoop.
  • The Champ suggests that his team turn it on and win.
  • The Champ puts his money where his mouth is. 17-12.
  • The Freelancer thunderdunks over awed teammates. No, not that thunderdunk17-14.
  • We have a game with The Octagon’s skyhook-thingy. 17-16.

    The Octagon releases his skyhook.

    The Octagon releases his skyhook.

  • The Custodian works defenders over. All three of them. Pass to The Champ. The FCC are now two points away from victory, 19-16.
  • The Ivy Leaguer saves a botched shot. 19-18.
  • The Freelancer’s heroic D: two blocks, three stopped passes in about thirty seconds.
  • Game slows down until a Freelancer dunk. FOIL takes their first lead of the game, 20-19.
  • The Dudes remind each other that the game must be won by two.
  • The Franchise with the killing three! The FCC wins a hard-fought game, 22-20.

Final Stats
Points
Name           G1  G2   T
The Octagon     4   8  12
The Franchise   7  12  19
The Custodian   2   0   2
The Champ       0  10  10
The Freelancer  0   8   8
The Ivy Leaguer 0   4   4

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3 Responses to Three-on-Three Paints in the Point Live Blog

  1. Dan Davis says:

    hey i thought FCC vs. Foil was a supreme court case

  2. The Champ says:

    The Custodian’s box score does not accurately represent the way he controls the ball/game/ballgame.

  3. […] Big Easy leaves the Phnom Penh airport in taxis in fifth place. Upon arriving at the FCC (no, not that FCC), they get a photo of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (and not, as Flight Time thought, some queen […]

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